CrispyTeriyaki's Tumblelog RSS

geekdom in sports, theater, medicine and other tomfoolery
Sep
22nd
Tue
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Chicago vs. The Rest of the USA

60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and woolly hats.
Chicago people sunbathe.

50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Chicago people plant gardens.

40 above - Italian cars won’t start.
Chicago people drive with the windows down.

32 above - Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan’s water gets thicker.

20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold.

15 above - New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.

0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico.
Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.

20 below - People in Miami cease to exist.
Chicago people get out their winter coats.

40 below - Hollywood disintegrates.
Chicago’s Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

50 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Chicago people get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.

60 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 below - ALL atomic motion stops.
Chicago people start saying…”Cold ‘nuff for ya??”

500 below - Hell freezes over.
The Chicago Cubs win the World Series

Author Unknown


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Sep
13th
Sun
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Sep
11th
Fri
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An outstanding class of inductees to the Basketball Hall of Fame. Love it.

An outstanding class of inductees to the Basketball Hall of Fame. Love it.


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I think everybody put their noseprint and sucked up all the smell.
— Secretary Shirley

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Sep
10th
Thu
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Cracks me up! (RT from f*ckkyeahchicago) gatekeeper: eff-this: STOP! Hammertime! Found @ Kedzie and Belden [shytown]

Cracks me up! (RT from f*ckkyeahchicago)

gatekeeper:

eff-this: STOP! Hammertime! Found @ Kedzie and Belden [shytown]


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Sep
3rd
Thu
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(re-tumbled from mrshawaii) LOST Characters (via SUPERINTERESSANTE)

(re-tumbled from mrshawaii)

LOST Characters (via SUPERINTERESSANTE)

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I won’t eat shark meat because I feel like sharks eat people, and that would be second-generation cannibalism.
— Shirley

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Aug
30th
Sun
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. . . But I Play One on TV

  • Todd: (mocking) That's it, you're walking home.
  • me: Fine, I won't show up at home, then see what happens to you.
  • Todd: What?
  • me: When the police show up.
  • Todd: You watch too much Law & Order!

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Aug
27th
Thu
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I bet God never gets honest feedback. Like when he invented the cockroach, why didn’t an angel tell him to knock it off?
— Adam Sacks

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With leases ranging anywhere from 6 months to life, there’s no escaping this great deal.
— Adam Sacks’ review of Sing Sing on Google Maps

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