22nd
Chicago vs. The Rest of the USA
60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and woolly hats.
Chicago people sunbathe.
50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Chicago people plant gardens.
40 above - Italian cars won’t start.
Chicago people drive with the windows down.
32 above - Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan’s water gets thicker.
20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
15 above - New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico.
Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.
20 below - People in Miami cease to exist.
Chicago people get out their winter coats.
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates.
Chicago’s Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
50 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Chicago people get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.
60 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below - ALL atomic motion stops.
Chicago people start saying…”Cold ‘nuff for ya??”
500 below - Hell freezes over.
The Chicago Cubs win the World Series
Author Unknown
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